So my MOM is a BIG fan of DAVID COOK

I was helping my mom to rearrange some things in her salon when I found the original David Cook CD. I went like "Who bought u this, Ma?" And her reply was, "Nobody. I did".

Yeah. David Cook rocks.

Of Shits. And more.

So I am not happy today.

To tell you the truth, I have this very bad habit which I find very difficult to erase. Say, if something I look forward to is about to happen tomorrow, I can't sleep well tonight. Is it just me, or is there any scientific explanation of that?

Results are supposed to come out TODAY. But maybe those people from Bhg Akademik lost track of time, or maybe they are in a completely different universe so their calender is obviously different from the one we use here on earth. The first shit of the day.

Then, I went to Tailor A's Shop to pick up my jeans I asked them to alter 3 days ago. The staff forgot to tell the person incharged and there you go, it was not even touched yet. It shouldn't take that long I reckon. Thank you very much.

Later in the evening, I called Tailor B to ask about the baju kurung I'm supposed to wear next week. In the first place she promised to get it done by tomorrow. BUT she said sorry and asked me to get it next Monday. Thank you again. That made my day.

Favourite.

Tired of doing grammar exercises and reading comprehension passages, I decided to do a communicative activity in my class today. So the day before, I asked the kids to bring their anything that can be considered their favourite.

So these were some of the things that they brought to class:
1. Teddy Bears (most of the girls did, hehe)
2. Pet (Danish and Imran brought their Prawns named Black and Twins in a very cute aquarium)
3. Chocolate
4. Story books / Novel
5. Clothes ( T-shirt, dress and jeans)

The kids are very creative. I didn't gave any suggestions of what they might want to bring to class. The whole idea is to get them to talk about their favourite whatever, and I thought that it was a success. They feel free to talk and share some interesting stories with the class. I've learned a few things from them. And I'm willing to learn more. :)

Untitled.

Well they say, everything happens for a reason. We might plans things, but Allah knows best. Umi's operation was cancelled (God knows how shocked I was when she told me about this. Sgt tak logik okkay). And trip to Sabah is postponed, perhaps until some time next year.

Work was fine. But to tell you the truth, my very first class was a disaster. I just don't know how to deal with little kids. Fyi, I was asked to teach Secondary students but ended up teaching Primary 1 and 2. They are mischievous (if I were to teach them every day, I think I'll be diagnosed with high blood pressure very soon). Okay, I didn't mean that. Hee.

But after a few weeks, I feel that it's not that bad. Despite the fact that they are almost impossible to handle, they are actually very loveable. You can't have students hugging you (only the girls, ya) when you enter the class. Sweet kn mereka? Smiles.

I'm hired!

The very short interview went well. Alhamdulillah.

At least there's something to keep me busy these holidays. But December would probably be a very hectic month.

Umi's operation, Kak Lin+ Abg Ijad's wedding, Sabah family trip (kalau jadi) and the new semester starts end of the month.

Maybe there's more yet to come, good things, I hope. (Amin).

How good is good enough?

I don't know if I still know myself. And what kind of statement is that (?) But yeah. Whatever. You see, sometimes I don't know what I'm talking about, and I don't think I should get this post published in the first place, but I enjoy talking gibberish now. So you can stop reading now, and I mean it! Well a friend told me that I'm the kind of person who likes to win all the time (and why am I not surprised?) while another said it is actually the opposite. But I'm guessing that what I'm feeling about those comments is, perhaps, indifferent. It's like, yeah, whatever. (I won't say I know myself better, because most of the time, I really don't). Due to the lack of emotional stability, I tend to be not-so-cool of late. Which also means that I'm loving the grumpy part of me, and worse still, I'm starting to get used to liking that part. That feeling of hatred and anger. Am I supposed to hate that? Hee. I just don't know.

So the big Q is, how good is good enough to be a person, or a human being (at least)?

I wanna grow old with you

That's a title of a song, by Adam Sandler. And this is the lyrics.

I wanna make you smile whenever youre sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

Ill miss you
Ill kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Ill need you
Ill feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if youve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

There's a reason why I'm posting this. Well yesterday I went to Hospital Serdang to accompany my dearest to do her physiotherapy. And we were placed behind a curtain (why this seems to sound so wrong? hehe) when we heard a few people are coming into the same room. Surprisingly, they were; a couple and a physiotherapist. I was so curious to see who they really are, so I took a peek and suprisingly, I saw a very old granpa on a wheelchair. He had lost both legs, due to critical diabetis I reckon. So, the physiotherepist told him what to do. Basically sweet grandpa needs to practice how to use one hand to hold something like color rods and at the same time another hand will move the wheelchair. And grandma supports him all the way. But at times she will marah2 a bit, saying things like, "Abang, jauh lagi nak susun tu, dekat lagi. Ke depan lg sikit".

Grandpa kept on saying "Don't worry Darling, I can do this." (He speaks English, and I think that was so sweet okkaayy. Sobs). And he looked really restless when the session is over. His hands were shaking a bit. I thought that the grandma was a bit garang-like, but actually she is a very nice person because surprisingly she talked to us on our ways out. Hee.

At this very moment I'm only thinking of one person whom I want to grow old with. Smiles.

p/s: To Bubub, if you're reading this, thank you for the song. You made me love you.

Money money money

Since holiday is just around the corner, I have a lot of plans in mind (some of which I'm not sure whether it can be done or not but we'll see what happens later).

BTW, I'm planning to send my handphone to Arkib Negara and make sure that it will be displayed there. But before that I'd have to call my stingy boss and tell her that I'm available these 2 months so I can work and get extra money to buy a new cell. Smiles.

Is there any other way for me to get more $?

Oh, asking me to get it from THE parents is not a good option. Thee hee.

At the end of the day, I hope I can pat my own shoulder, knowing that I've worked my own way to get things that I want.

Dear friends,

A simple truth

I can have some space and time on my own.
I am allowed to have some space and time on my own.
I'm on my own.

THE verdict

Am going for teaching practice in Klang. Meru.

Judging a book by its cover?

I was on my way back from the faculty. Since I’m alone, I decided to move a little bit faster and rebut2 to squeez myself into the bus. I hate to be seen alone. No offence, but being alone is not cool ok. Well, I sat beside this guy, and he looked extremely skema; yes, the typical portrayal of nerd-do nothing else but study-anti social person you see in school. FYI, most of the bus drivers love to listen to Sinar.fm regardless of how old mature or young they are. So happens that suddenly the Guns n Roses’ Sweet Child of Mine was aired, and he started singing. I find it amusing that this guy had a very high ambiguity tolerance and definitely thin ego-boundary because he sung like no one else was there. Not to forget, the head-banging and leg movements at the chorus; which looked funny at first (oh, I purposely pinch my nose and try as much as I can, not to laugh. And succeeded! Ha ha ha). And his voice was, hmm, okay not that bad. To think about it, I believe most people tend to have this stereotypical thinking; or I’d say rigid first impression towards people we meet the first time. But I don’t know. Should or should not a book be judged by its cover? Or maybe what that guy did is normal, and I should anticipate that to come out from a nerd-looking guy? Anyhoo, I think you rock, Mr.! :)

Here in my home

Perlu ke? But since it's August, and Hari Kemerdekaan is just around the corner, I feel the urge to at least have this Merdeka spirit. I love this song anyway. Enjoy!

Dr. Edwin talked about nationhood in his class last week (While the you-know-who kept saying that she should prepare to migrate. Hmm). It was an eye-opener, really. He seldom talks about these kind of issues anyway. I should go to Malacca Equatorial Hotel one day. I didn't know much about Tuanku Abdul Rahman Putra Al-Haj's deceleration of independence except for the repeated MERDEKAs! That's for me to find out. Or maybe you too, should do the same.

Selamat menyambut bulan kemerdekaan, people! :)

Am not thinking that much lately,

Okay, so I've left this blog unattained. Pardon me. But it seems like I'm too preoccupied with some stuffs. Lame excuse, but really. A lot of things happened along the way. Should I continue writing when I don't have anything in mind? You can continue reading if you want to. Hee. So I went to Dayout's wedding last weekend. The journey was simply exciting; or is there any appropriate word to replace that? Great people, good times.

Anyhow, I feel that there are things that I realized had happened to me lately. Some which are at first went unnoticed. But clear enough, they are now a part of me. And here goes:

1. I can only open my eyes 6.30 in the morning for subuh prayers. It cannot be earlier than that. I'll wait until the alarm clock rings, then only my brain will start to function.
2. It's pathetic that I have to sleep after the prayers and wake up later at 9 am. My classes starts at 10 every day, so I find no reason to stay awake and do nothing. Stupid.
3. I stopped singing in the shower. The reason being is that I spend less time in it. Tehee.
4. I've turned out to be a morning person. Lol.
5. I'll spend about 10 minutes to think of what to wear to class everyday, and sometimes decide to change if I suddenly feel like not wearing that baju that day (pdhal dah siap nk ke kelas). Freak. Though decision to be made, I don't have many choice there in my closet. Hee.

Well that's all I can think about at the moment. To Ayu, if you're reading this, you'll probably think that this is an all-or-nothing post. But as much as I want to write, my brain does not let me to. And thanks for the wonderful journey. Smiles.

Till then. Have a great day ppl!

P/s: I need to go home (yg jauh sgt tu). Lol. Craving for cempedak goreng.

Where should I go to?

Since Teaching Practice is just a heartbeat away (sigh), I need to make up my mind and decide the school, district, and state that I want to go to. Discussions with THE parents went no where; but it left me undecided and I wonder if you people who cares to read, will at least give me a way out.

We'll go through each state.

Selangor.
Pros;
- born and raised here. Familiar with most of the districts. So you can campak me wherever.
- mama: if you do your teaching practice here, you don't have to rent house, do your laundry and cook.
- ayah: i don't mind sending you to school everyday. (reasons not to give me a car, haha)
- won't have to think much if I run out of money. Mobile ATMs are around. :)

Cons;
- don't know who wants to do practicles here. Most ppl opt for Melaka.

Negeri Sembilan.
Pros;
- easy to go back home. If I apply for Seremban, can go back naik KTM. Ok lah tu! ;p

Cons;
- ?

Melaka.
Pros;
- A lot of people are going to Melaka.
- I can have a new 'air'. Haven't had the chance to stay for a long time in Melaka, except for school/ family trips
- ?

Cons;
- Life would be difficult without wheels.
- Would spend a lot on a lot of things.
-?

So whats the verdict? Maybe you can give me a little help here. I have all the reasons in the world to make my own decision, but I would have to admit that I'm indecisive. Do I really have to make an entry about this, ever? Go figure. People might say I'm exaggerating. But my freaking degree is determined by this freaking teaching practice. Darn.

Tomorrow!!

Lets think about a classic musical movie.. Probably these are the ones that comes to mind;

Grease, The Sound of Music, The Wizard of Oz, My Fair Lady etc.

But my favourite is Annie.

I purposedly embeded this video since it's with the lyrics. :) Annie is a movie about tomorrow. And very inspiring indeed.

Some people opt for non-musical movies. But I'd say I prefer musicals (which may be the reason why I love most of P.Ramlee's movies..and Hindustan too. He he). I'm happy that the musical film began to rise in pupularity once more, with great piece of works such as Enchanted, High School Musical, Sweeny Todd (just to name a few).

And I was so happy that I had had the chance to watch a musical theatre performance at KLPac some time last year. Aladdin is with strong humor elements, I bet you'll laugh all the way, and of course, they used the all-time-favourite songs by the Beatles. I hope there'll be more and more musicals, be it theatre or movies, to come.

I love musicals!!

Tripping*

"But who am I to dream?
Dreams are for fools, they'll let you down"

P/s: I thought I was doing well but I just want to cry now

This is just to say...

I feel lucky. I am blessed. I got this picture from an email a friend sent to me. Thought that it'd be nice to get it posted here, perhaps it would make us count our blessings, for God has given us so much and most of the times we tend to take things for granted.

This is the Aboubakar family of Breidging Camp

In front of them are the amount of food they consume in a week. I admit that sometimes when there's still a lot of food in the kitchen, I'd say "Why, can't we have anything other than these to eat?". These people managed to survive, and yet, they have to save a lot for a living. Living is hard for them, what more if they can hardly get food to eat. I'm not that rich, but I have parents who can afford to provide us with healthy food to eat. Good brain works with good food, quoting Mama.

Something contradictory to what I've written above, very often, it's difficult for us to admit that we can be satisfied with what we have today, since everything is rising. The oil price. Should I say more? There goes my dream to drive my own car. Pffft. People who owns their own vehicles thought of selling theirs. But the public transportation is not good enough to cater for a lot of people who apparently decided to go public.

Well, a friend of mine shared his thoughts regarding this minyak issue. As he said, forty percent increase in the market petrol price is high when almost every citizen in Malaysia come from middle-class or lower family. With such increase, everything (price wise) will go up.

To absorb/cushion the impact of price increase, the government came up with the idea of giving rebates to these "poor" people. Ask one question to yourself, are those people who have transport were the only group affected by the increment? The answer is NO. People with vehicles pay for fuel and rebated (so little), that's fine; however they overlooked the other minority, a group which rely entirely to public transportations. They are affected as well, if not as bad as those with cars and bikes. Is there any possible way to 'protect' their right? Not everyone can afford to live like those people 'up' there, right? (unfortunately, truth hurts). Should we be worried?

I'll leave you with those question marks. Till then~

Almost there.

The nearly-3 months-holidays is almost over. Duh! I think I've got a rotten brain now i.e. it's not possible for me to engage my brain with anything (academically, or intellectually, which ever you prefer). Talking about spending the holidays wisely, I think that there's only one time that I was able to be productive enough, in terms of getting to use my brain.

The teacher from a tuition center I went for an interview a long time ago (yes, I did) asked for my help to replace a teacher who cannot make it that day. I have some problems dealing with school kids (primary). I have the tendency to 'loose it', most of the times. Pardon me, I'm a human with many flaws. Ya, lame excuse you'd say. He he.

SO, I taught them English Language. It's more like tutoring because the class is very small. Two standards (2 and 4) combined as one, with only 4 students. I can remember my students names; Alvin, Irene, Ezetty and Ivy. They were students of different proficiencies. But since that was my first experience to teach 'real students' (finally), felt that it was indeed a valuable one. Some of the students were my sister's ex-students, so I was being a bit cautious of my ways in handling them, (talk about being afraid of being compared to her). *laughs*

And that was my first teaching experience. The 'other' time would be during the Teaching Practise some time in 2009. Maybe these will be the only times I'll be teaching school kids, unless I change my mind and decide to be a school teacher (but I think that is almost impossible. Period.) Anyhow, I'm glad that I survived the day. :-) It was not easy, really. Alvin was more enthusiast about folding papers to make a jet rather than writing answers to my questions. He ended up flying his jet for the last 15 minutes before the class ended. Mischievous boy.

P/s: It's been quite a busy week. My younger sister will be doing her degree in Law, heartiest congratulations (Gor2, your orientation starts this Sunday! *giggles*). I know that she'll be doing fine. Good luck!

I can't think*

Careless laaah.
Carelessness.
Sigh

Will get back to you people when I can think straight. Later alligator~

Of Struggle and Hope

Good day, people. I decided to write something that I had in mind long time ago. It bugged me- that if it doesn't get written, so long- then it'll be forgotten. So, here goes. The fact that we experience a lot of things in life, we shouldn't take those lessons for granted. Alas, life is short; which gives us more reason to experience more, trust enough to take, and accept the unchangeable.

"Take any emotion - love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from deadly illness. If you hold back these emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is.You know what grief is. And then only you can say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.' "

Tuesdays with Morrie

Well, sometimes we just don't realize that a LOT of things happen for a reason, and we'll possibly understand that once it's gone - if not the next day, maybe in the next 20 years- it leaves you a little wiser (at least than before). Life isn't always great, ayt? At the age of 21, I can't really say that I've learned 'life's greatest lesson'. There's still a looong way to go, and hopefully more yet to come. As I browsed the net for some enlightening and insights, I accidentally found this.

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YG AKU IDAM-IDAMKAN?
QURAN MENJAWAB
'Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesua tu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.'
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI?
QURAN MENJAWAB
'Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.'
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286

So here I am, thinking of how I have reacted to events which happened all these while. Those things, they were only phase (a good friend always tells this to me). But yes, I feel that there's a lot for me to change about myself, talk about being a better person(!) I can't say that I'm content (yet) with what I have today, there's so much more to achieve. Nonetheless, I’m grateful for the life I have now, and yes, for every single thing I had had experienced throughout my whole life.

I'm still on a journey to find a better me, do pray for me ya? ^-^

A new day has come

"Love is always patient and kind
it is never jealous
love is never
boastful or conceited
it is never rude or selfish
it does not take offense
and is not resentful
love takes no pleasure
in other people's sins,
but delights in the truth
it is always ready to excuse
to trust, to hope,
and to endure
whatever comes".

This is so far the best love quote. Thanks to Ainuddin, I've watched A Walk to Remember almost 10 times this week, and I still cry each time. It's indeed a movie full of memorable quotes, yet this one is the best so far. I've read the book too, and to compare both the movie and book, I'd say I prefer reading the book. Sometimes our own imagination about things is greater than how people put it in movies. He he.

Just a thought to share, I'm grateful that I'm still breathing as I woke up this morning, and I still have Mama to wake me up for prayers, to have my sisters by my side as I opened my eyes, to realize that God still gives me the chance to live another day. Thank you Allah.

Fatigue*

Finally the nurse said that she can have a good rest at home. A better environment I would say. Sometimes the ward could be a rather depressing place to stay in. It wasn't easy to say goodbye just now, though. The cries and hugs showed it all. I'm glad that I found a true friend like her, a kind of person I don't mind sharing everything I have, to give, give and give, and not expecting anything in return. I got another 'dad' today. Thank you Abah.

Since I just got back from Andalas I didn't meet Ayah before he took off to Terengganu. I missed talking to him since he just got back from Maldives last week. And now he's away. Again. *Sigh* Anyways, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY AYAH! You've always been my savior (and the one I can pour my cries and stories and gossips to).

The best Dad in this whole wide world. :)

Need a few days to get some fresh air. Fresh as in FRRRESHH.. Beaches anyone? :)

Get well soon, dearest.

It has been a long time since I last went to a hospital to visit a friend or relative. Last Wednesday, a good friend of mine went through an operation to remove her salivary glands tumor. But the operation took longer than it should. We were informed that it will take about 3 hours, yet we waited up till 5 hrs 20 mins. To our shock, the doctors informed that there was no problem with the salivary glands. The tumor was actually at the face nerves. So they decided to cut off her face nerves, and after 6 months, if the tumor does not show any possibility to re-appear, they'll join the nerve which they cut off earlier.

All we can do is just to hope for the best. I pray that she'll be doing fine. I don't mind spending my time with her all along, if that's the thing that can make her at least a little bit lighten up. It's not fun to see someone very dear to you suffer. Trust me. But it's also difficult to convince her that everything will be alright. Maybe it'll take sometime. I'll be there for her every step of the way.

Exam results are out. Alhamdulillah, I passed through another test. I hope my friends did well too. Next semester would be our final year. Praying hard that He will give us his blessings for us to sail through the tides. Amin.

Inspiring, Inspired.

So, I consider myself among the luckiest person to get to attend a program called Berilmu Berbakti. The 3 days-2 nights program was indeed hectic, yet I was glad that it started and ended well as planned. This is not the first time that I attend a camp which involves the orphans. The first thing to bear in mind is that, Rumah Anak-anak Yatim or the Orphanage is NOT only for those who've lost a parent or both, but some of them have the history of broken family, divorced parents, and some with stories you can never expect. C'est La Vie. All these somehow or rather were eye openers and I am thankful for what I have and who I am today. When everything seems too much for me to handle, I always question, why ME? But then, when I heard stories from those kids (they're all 11 to 17 years old) I was impressed. They managed to survive regardless of the countless problem they're facing. During one slot called 'sharing', I was touched when they shared their stories. A boy aged 15, admitted that he tried all sorts of 'bad stuffs, be it ganja, gam, or rokok. There's nothing we can actually do about it. - 3 days is not possible for you to change a person as a whole-. Some of them shared stories about their 'Rumah'. To our shock, some of the officers at the orphanage were the kind of people who are not sincere in taking care of them. A boy tells that their pengetua always say bad things to them, (yes, he admitted that they are not good-and-nice kids) but I personally feel that it is not a good thing. They need proper care and people around them should show their concern, and not to call them anak haram! Those kids, their self-esteem is very low. Most of them said that they will definitely work after they finish high school. They have no motivation, they have no reason to move on, they cannot picture themselves in 10 years time, which proves that they have no vision.

We tried our best to encourage them, and guide them to a different goal in life. All we can do now is just to hope that they'll be successful individuals in the future. Anyway, I haven't got any pictures of the camp since I forgot to bring my camera. I'll try to get the pictures from my friends and will get it posted here. :)